Lost in Space by Chris Green When it was just keeping up with social media and a bit of casual surfing, it was manageable. But since the gambling and online dating kicked in, it has become uncontrollable. I’m spending too much time on the internet. Every time I find myself with a spare moment, I’m … Continue reading Lost in Space
Author: Chris Green
Hi I’m Chris. I have written around 300 short stories, most of which you can view at chrisgreenstories.com. I am also a keen photographer and you can see examples of my work at chrisgreenphotographs.com
I live in Watchet, Somerset, United Kingdom.
I write short stories and like to choose unusual subjects and viewpoints that are a little off centre. I hope you enjoy these quirky tales of modern life.
Web address is chrisgreenstories.com
Please also take a look at a selection of my photos at
chrisgreenphotographs.com
All written and photographic content on these pages is copyright Chris Green 2014 to 2024: All rights reserved
Could Have Tripped Out Easy
Could Have Tripped Out Easy by Chris Green July 1966: Sunny Afternoon We are in the midst of a heatwave, there are smiles on people’s faces and Sunny Afternoon is Number One. It seems that the gloom and austerity of the post-war years, which in my nineteen years is all I have known, have finally … Continue reading Could Have Tripped Out Easy
Tail
Tail by Chris Green It can be difficult to know if you are being tailed, especially if the car behind you is grey. So many cars these days are grey, and designs are all very similar. Perhaps none of them blends in as easily as a VW Tiguan. This model is so inconspicuous, it has … Continue reading Tail
Out of Time
Out Of Time by Chris Green The moment Kimberley steps into the refreshment room, she knows something is wrong. Railway station cafés should be a hub of activity in the morning. This one is deathly quiet. It is almost empty. There are five people and each is seated at a separate table, staring blankly into … Continue reading Out of Time
Mood Indigo
Mood Indigo by Chris Green I am out in the back, struggling over a spreadsheet, when I hear the bell ring. I cannot see the woman who has come into the shop, but it appears she can see me. ‘Have you got Soul Junction by Red Garland?’ she calls out. ‘If I have, it’ll be … Continue reading Mood Indigo
Odds
Odds by Chris Green Having worked at BiggerBet, Eddie Lovett knows his way around odds. Eddie knows, for instance, the bookmakers’ odds of Southampton winning the Premier League are 1,000 to 1. The mathematical odds of being dealt a Straight Flush at five-card Draw Poker are 72,192 to 1. The odds of winning the jackpot … Continue reading Odds
Ghost
GHOST by Chris Green ‘You remember that creepy old man I told you about?’ I said. ‘The one I saw outside the kite museum. Well, Dad! He’s back.’ ‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, son,’ Dad said, looking up briefly from his Melody Maker. On a Thursday, his day off, Dad liked to read … Continue reading Ghost
A Day in the Life
A Day in the Life by Chris Green As he drives along Great Western Avenue to work at Trask and Wherry, Lenny Fusco is a worried man. So, he thinks, should everyone else be. He cannot understand why so many people are still going about their lives as normal. The people he passes seem not … Continue reading A Day in the Life
South
SOUTH by Chris Green On occasions, just for a moment, everything seems in place. For this brief spell of time, a supernatural force seems to be at work. There is equilibrium in the universe. It might be referred to by some as an epiphany, an insight through the divine. Here at the top of the … Continue reading South
Balaclava
Balaclava by Chris Green The coach has just left the bus station. We are waiting at the lights when, through the back window, I catch a glimpse of a man in a balaclava, running through the crowd. He is waving a handgun around. He shouts out something. He fires shots indiscriminately at the passengers … Continue reading Balaclava
It Takes a Train to Cry
It Takes a Train to Cry by Chris Green It is pitch black. I can make out no shapes at all. The bruising I can feel pretty much all over and the throbbing lump on the back of my head suggests I may have taken a savage beating. I am dressed in ripped jeans … Continue reading It Takes a Train to Cry
Blonde on Blonde
Blonde on Blonde by Chris Green How many roads must a man walk down, Dylan Song wonders? He has been trudging around the streets of Dalmouth for ages, yet he still can’t find the café where he is due to meet Frankie Lee. This is his fourth time around the shopping centre. His going round … Continue reading Blonde on Blonde
James Brown – The Godfather of Soil
James Brown – The Godfather of Soil by Chris Green Susanna and I were having a lunchtime glass of Chardonnay at Café Rouge. She had called me earlier at work. She had sounded a little distraught, so I had rearranged my diary for us to meet up. She suspected Charlie was seeing a younger woman. … Continue reading James Brown – The Godfather of Soil
Andromeda Dreaming
Andromeda Dreaming by Chris Green It was a warm Wednesday in September. I was walking the dog in St Peter’s Park. I spotted Tristan Dev on a seat eating his lunch. Tristan could tell straight away from my demeanour that I was feeling a little below par, and he asked me what was wrong. I … Continue reading Andromeda Dreaming
Trust
Trust by Chris Green Following the split with his long-term partner, Darci, Nick Parks feels at a loose end. He cannot face the idea of singles nights and has heard nothing but horror stories about dating agencies. He does not want to go down to The Gordon Bennett to be asked where’s Darci, or be … Continue reading Trust
Curiosity
Curiosity by Chris Green I am reading Curiosity Killed the Cat by Phillip C Dark which I bought at the PDSA charity shop. In the novel, people become human mood rings. They have implants that make them change colour according to their mood. Advertisements appear randomly in the air in front of them. Getting media … Continue reading Curiosity
The Real History of the Internet
The Real History Of The Internet by Chris Green The Internet was invented by Pablo Gonzales in 1492. There are competing claims to the technology behind it, but Pablo was the one who established the Internet protocol suite (IPS). You may have seen pictures of the early personal computers but in case you have not, … Continue reading The Real History of the Internet
Fugue
Fugue by Chris Green 1: Someone is standing over me and staring, a weird sensation when you are dead. Perhaps it’s a big leap, but does it suggest I may have survived the accident after all? Given that as far as I can recall, a vehicle travelling at considerable speed hit me head-on, this seems … Continue reading Fugue
Invisible Men
Invisible Men by Chris Green ‘You can call me Fritz,’ he says. Why Fritz? I wonder. He does not look German. He is skinny, dark-skinned and has crusty dreadlocks. He has a scar running the length of his cheek. He clearly has no intention of engaging in unnecessary conversation. I had become accustomed to Zoot. … Continue reading Invisible Men
Ki
Ki by Chris Green I have just taken a photo of the blue sea with the bank of cloud over the dark headland, when the stranger with the mirror sunglasses appears out of nowhere. He asks me if I am a professional photographer. ‘Not at all,’ I say. ‘It’s only a Canon PowerShot. But there … Continue reading Ki
GUN
GUN by Chris Green Gary Bilk works as a tyre technician in Camborne, an old mining town in Cornwall. Most evenings after work, he picks up his girlfriend, Suzi Foxx from outside HairCraft salon and takes her to The Cock Inn. They have a bite to eat, play pool, darts or dominoes and chat with … Continue reading GUN
Strike While the Iron is Hot
Strike While The Iron Is Hot by Chris Green She has fought against it for too long. If she doesn’t do it now, she never will. What is so difficult about telling Dirk he has to leave? Each time that her friend Marie has said; you’ve got to do it, Donna, she has said; it’s … Continue reading Strike While the Iron is Hot
Harmonica
Harmonica by Chris Green ‘I am going to write a story that ends with the word harmonica,’ she says. ‘And I am not going to mention harmonica until that point.’ We are in Chance Encounter Café. We are the only two customers. She is sitting at the next table. She is drinking one of those … Continue reading Harmonica
Zenn
Zenn by Chris Green As an only child growing up in rural Somerset, Kate Dulverton had a sheltered upbringing. Like many young people, she eventually became bored with her sleepy surroundings and moved away to broaden her horizons. She had not been in the city long when Charlotte Anne, in the office where she was … Continue reading Zenn
Altavista
Altavista by Chris Green Magenta does not enjoy riding the elevator to Red’s nineteenth-floor apartment in Altavista. It moves so slowly that it doesn’t seem to be moving at all. But security is tight. The chance of encountering an assailant in Altavista is small. The building has a uniformed concierge to vet unwanted visitors. The … Continue reading Altavista
April’s Shower
April's Shower by Chris Green Hotel California strikes me as an odd little café. Apart from the curious choice of name, it is situated underground and has no windows. Despite its claustrophobic feel, the acoustics seem to belong to a much larger space. The sound fades in and out and bounces off the walls in … Continue reading April’s Shower
Chocolate is at Six
Chocolate is at Six by Chris Green The brightly coloured bus was there every morning. Parked in the bus bay by the side of the road, in Bridge Street, Paloma passed it on her way to school. There was nothing to show where the bus might be going, and no one ever seemed to get … Continue reading Chocolate is at Six
The Devil’s Interval
The Devil’s Interval by Chris Green I have not always been a killer. I blame my descent into malevolence and murder on Holst and Wagner. And Black Sabbath. Mostly Black Sabbath. Perhaps I had better explain. It all began when, in February 1970, I was listening to a Dutch radio station late at night with … Continue reading The Devil’s Interval
PROG
PROG by Chris Green I hadn’t seen Nick for many years when he got in touch with me on Facebook. My name, Chance DeVille, is of course so unusual that if someone were trying to look me up, I would not be hard to find. Few people had taken the trouble to look me up, … Continue reading PROG
Behind the Times
Behind the Times by Chris Green It is a hundred miles to the holiday cottage in Myst, a small hamlet in the west country. Because of some last-minute things I have to attend to at the studio, I am late setting out. And for the last stretch of the journey, the satnav takes me on … Continue reading Behind the Times
The Book
The Book by Chris Green When I was growing up in the nineteen-sixties, I was surrounded by books. The bookshelves in Grey Gables, the big old Gothic revival house in Gloucestershire where we lived, were full. Fiction and non-fiction, there were books from all around the globe. There were books of every classification. but there … Continue reading The Book
Light
Light by Chris Green ‘Purple Haze was never Number 1,’ the girl at the bar says. ‘Nor was Strawberry Fields Forever. Odd for two such famous tunes, don’t you think?’ Matt is taken aback. It’s a strange way to open a conversation. Is she talking to him? He does not know her. He looks around … Continue reading Light
Back in Time for Tea
Back in Time for Tea by Chris Green It was Monday morning, but I was not pressed for time. I was off work. An old Tai Chi injury had flared up, and I had been told to rest. I was sorting out things that in my busy schedule at the kite repair workshop, I never … Continue reading Back in Time for Tea
The Cat’s Tale
The Cat’s Tale by Chris Green Where’s the cat, Zack wonders? And what is that enormous snake doing in here? The snake curled up in the corner of the room appears completely out of context and instantly intimidating. Zack is terrified. Keeping a safe distance from the beast, he googles big fat yellow snake on … Continue reading The Cat’s Tale
Summer Time
Summer Time by Chris Green It was already the middle of July. Only a few moments ago it seemed it was June, or May even. The Bank Holiday Mondays, the Chelsea Flower Show, Royal Ascot, Summer Solstice, Glastonbury, Wimbledon and the British Grand Prix had come and gone like thieves in the night. In quick … Continue reading Summer Time
Small Island
Small Island by Chris Green I am walking our cocker spaniel, Trevor on Gold Dust Hill when we come across the stranger. Trevor spots him first. He is very sensitive to changes in his surroundings. We get a few hill walkers around these parts, so at first I imagine the shadowy figure in the distance … Continue reading Small Island
Bus
Bus by Chris Green The bus isn’t supposed to go this way. What is happening? Where is it taking me? ‘You’re going the wrong way,’ I call out to the driver. She takes no notice. Perhaps she cannot hear me over the noise of the engine. I try again. ‘I have an appointment and I’m … Continue reading Bus
A Sword in Every Pond
A Sword In Every Pond by Chris Green You have never in your life been to Stockport. You weren’t even aware that it was a town in Greater Manchester. So where are these phantom thoughts coming from? Conversations about black puddings with Ruby Leighton in the Asian convenience store off Warren Street. Supping stout in … Continue reading A Sword in Every Pond
Apocalypse No
Apocalypse No by Chris Green 1: At first, Ingrid and I think the explosion may have come from Dmitri’s place further down the lane. We live out in the sticks and Dmitri is our nearest neighbour. He is always tinkering with something questionable in his makeshift workshop at the bottom of his garden. With his … Continue reading Apocalypse No
Such Stuff
Such Stuff by Chris Green When I read the news about traces of cannabis being found in clay pipes from William Shakespeare’s garden, I was surprised, but then again, not too surprised. After all, many literary figures have been known to use drugs, Wordsworth and Coleridge for instance. Shelley and Byron too had famously indulged, … Continue reading Such Stuff
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 8
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron - Part Eight by Chris Green 1: When Picasso said everything you can imagine is real, he was presumably referring to his art. But could this also be the starting point for fiction? How else can we build a believable world out of something that doesn’t exist? How … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 8
Heroes
Heroes by Chris Green The pandemic has been a devastating time for everyone. You don’t have to look too hard to find heartbreaking real-life stories. They are everywhere. And the horror of losing loved ones continues with no end in sight. In addition to the carnage, millions more have lost their livelihoods, and the lockdown … Continue reading Heroes
MURDER MYSTERY – a murder mystery
MURDER MYSTERY – a murder mystery - by Chris Green My head is pounding. My mouth feels like a dried-up drainage ditch. I am used to more formal surroundings when I wake. A comfortable bed, and if I’m lucky, a cup of tea. This room is unfamiliar. I have no recall of how I came … Continue reading MURDER MYSTERY – a murder mystery
Every Picture Tells a Story
Every Picture Tells A Story by Chris Green 1: I bought my first SLR camera, a Canon EX, in 1977. I had been asked to take some shots of Ibiza. Ibiza wasn’t chav central back then. It was a magic white island populated by bohemians and artists. The photos came out well, and I used … Continue reading Every Picture Tells a Story
Walking the Dog
Walking The Dog by Chris Green Ellie and I often see Dog Walking Man passing our front window with his bull terrier. He has a ruddy face, wears his hair short and has a look of determination. Whatever the time of year, he wears the same white zip-up jacket, black Adidas pants and brown boots … Continue reading Walking the Dog
Dunning-Kruger for Dummies
Dunning-Kruger for Dummies by Chris Green ‘Real knowledge is knowing the extent of one’s ignorance’ - Confucius The Dunning–Kruger Effect posits that people with low ability at a task are likely to significantly overestimate their ability. It draws on the cognitive bias of illusory superiority which acknowledges the incapacity of people to recognise their shortcomings. … Continue reading Dunning-Kruger for Dummies
Glitch
Glitch by Chris Green ‘Heliotrope destination,’ the caller says and then hangs up. Heliotrope destination? It sounds like a cryptic crossword clue. What does that mean? What on earth is he talking about? In these days of scams and hoaxes, I record the calls we get on our landline. I play the message back. … Continue reading Glitch
Call Me Lottie
Call Me Lottie – by Chris Green LOTTIE 'Pale blinds, drawn all day, I'm afraid,' says Landon Truitt. 'Upstairs and down.' 'I remember getting those blinds fitted,' I say. 'Local fellow. He called himself The Blind Man, which at the time I thought was amusing.' 'The Blind Man. Good name. Very droll, Mrs Crenshaw.' 'Lottie. … Continue reading Call Me Lottie
NIGHT
NIGHT by Chris Green In the middle of the night, Hank hears voices. He is not sure if this is the chatter of revellers coming home from the clubs blown in on the wind, or if Mrs Oosterhuis has left her television on. Alongside this, there is the noise from the night workers laying the … Continue reading NIGHT
Lenticular Clouds
Lenticular Clouds by Chris Green Lenticular clouds hang over Mount Dante in the distance. Disc-shaped and silver, they have an air of the surreal about them. You expect clouds to move across the sky with the wind, but these are stationary. Here in the town below, the inhabitants are … Continue reading Lenticular Clouds
Ceci n’est pas Une Batte
Ceçi n’est pas une batte by Chris Green Not many people realise that the surrealist painter, René Magritte was a big fan of English cricket. He discovered cricket by accident in a newspaper article in the 1930s. Although he had a reasonable command of English, the unfamiliar language baffled him. Innings, runs, overs, wickets, stumps, … Continue reading Ceci n’est pas Une Batte
‘e’
‘e’ by Chris Green There is not a lot to do in Builth Wells when the weather is wet. Wales is, of course, famous for its damp climate. But this year was exceptional. April had been a washout, and now May looked like breaking all records. Ifan Griffiths was unsettled by it. With all … Continue reading ‘e’
Waterfalls
Waterfalls by Chris Green 1: Through thick and thin, Barney Cisco has followed Bristol City's fortunes, travelling up and down the country in all winds and weathers to watch his team play. He has been able to finance his fanatical support through a lucrative stall at Compton Regis market selling cheap foreign mattresses at inflated … Continue reading Waterfalls
Ben Maceo
Ben Maceo by Chris Green Ben Maceo told me about the clock last week. Ben has special powers, you see. He can tell when things are going to happen. Had it been anyone else, I would never have believed them, but as it was Ben, I knew that … Continue reading Ben Maceo
Best Kept Secret
Best Kept Secret by Chris Green ‘Van Morrison wanted to be a vet,’ the man says. ‘Who?’ says the girl, not looking up from the book she is reading. ‘Van Morrison, you know. Brown Eyed Girl, Bright Side Of The Road.’ ‘Oh! Him!’ the girl says, hoping this will put an end to the conversation. … Continue reading Best Kept Secret
Clumpton
Clumpton by Chris Green Having taken several wrong turns on our way to the coast, Holly and I find ourselves in Clumpton. We start to blame each other for unforgivable navigation errors. We need a break from driving to get our bearings and compose ourselves. We park up on one of the narrow streets and … Continue reading Clumpton
Wish You Were Here
Wish You Were Here by Chris Green The huge red and green trucks thunder along the carriageways of the two-lane motorway in both directions. There is something both hostile and haphazard about the way they cross from lane to lane, throwing up dense clouds of dust from the parched road surface. The trucks are military … Continue reading Wish You Were Here
The Startling Discovery of Phlogiston
The Startling Discovery Of Phlogiston by Chris Green Things started getting weird around here some time ago, following the startling discovery of phlogiston. The previous belief, kept alive for many years by charlatans, was that everything was made up of 118 elements, all arranged neatly by the number of protons, electron configurations and recurring chemical … Continue reading The Startling Discovery of Phlogiston
Quad Bike
Quad Bike by Chris Green ‘If you don’t buy me a quad bike,’ Kylie says. ‘I will stop going to school and join Danny Rocco’s gang.’ Doug and Tracy Little are becoming exasperated by their daughter’s outbursts. Children are more defiant than they used to be when they were growing up. Do they learn their … Continue reading Quad Bike
Cat Town
Cat Town by Chris Green Chet’s train to Chatton has never been this late. It is seven o’clock. He has been on the platform for an hour and a half without seeing a soul. Where are the other passengers? Admittedly, Dark Hollow is a quiet backwater, but in the six weeks he has been working … Continue reading Cat Town
Mario and Lorelei
Mario and Lorelei by Chris Green Lorelei Love possesses a rare talent. She knows that things are going to happen before they do. As a result of her premonitory powers, Lorelei’s life has been alternately comforting or frightening, depending on what is scheduled to happen. Unfortunately knowing something is going to occur does not give … Continue reading Mario and Lorelei
A Blacker Shade of Blue
A Blacker Shade of Blue by Chris Green Tiffany Blue wonders why she is so unhappy. If all the things she is doing are so good for her, she should be in seventh heaven. She gets up at five each morning and does a half an hour’s Tai Chi before her bowl of wholegrain cereal … Continue reading A Blacker Shade of Blue
Harry and Kate
Harry and Kate by Chris Green Black cats are supposed to be lucky, aren’t they? Harry Regis thinks so. What he doesn’t realise is that in many cultures, black cats are seen as an evil omen. Most of Europe, for instance, considers the black cat to be unlucky, a harbinger of doom. Fortunate then that … Continue reading Harry and Kate
Holiday
Holiday by Chris Green Lastminuteholidays.com did not actually specify that Sea View had a view of the sea, but there again, it did not say that it didn’t. The default position, you would have thought, was that it did, especially as there were pictures of the waves rolling in on a clear sandy beach in … Continue reading Holiday
You Never Know Who Your Friends Are
You Never Know Who Your Friends Are by Chris Green A writer can become dangerously obsessed with fiction. The temptation to create something original out of an ordinary everyday situation can be hard to resist. I could not possibly know what I was getting into when I created Quentin Thief’s social media profile. Quentin was … Continue reading You Never Know Who Your Friends Are
Ten Twenty-Four
Ten Twenty-Four by Chris Green You may not have heard of Trethowan. Most people haven’t. It is a tiny hamlet, remote even by Cornish standards. Although I keep hearing that providers are investing millions to tackle poor reception in rural areas, I have no phone signal where I am staying at Cosy Cottage, a rural … Continue reading Ten Twenty-Four
Puff the Magic Dragon
Puff the Magic Dragon by Chris Green Before he met Prism, John Straight seemed destined for success. He had a Degree in Business Management from a top university, a big black BMW with bull bars and he was willing to travel. In a word, John’s future looked rosy. He was the son of Sir James … Continue reading Puff the Magic Dragon
Sven of Halmstad
Sven of Halmstad by Chris Green Church attendance had been dropping for years. In the age of science and discovery, it seemed no one was able to swallow the fantastic tales of strife and salvation in the middle east as the basis for their belief. Stories like this might be OK for a fantasy novel, … Continue reading Sven of Halmstad
Pulp Friction
Pulp Friction by Chris Green Nancy fancies Tafelspitz and I haven’t had Wiener Schnitzel for a long time, so we are going to treat ourselves. Things have been a little fraught since our Schnauzer, Max had to be put to rest. Respiratory disease, very sad at the end. Max was more than just the family … Continue reading Pulp Friction
DNA
DNA by Chris Green ‘Your blood pressure is a little on the high side this morning, Max,’ says Dee. ‘You have remembered to take your beta-blockers, haven’t you?’ ‘Yes, Dee,’ I say. ‘I took them twenty minutes ago, and I even washed them down with the blueberry biojuice you recommended. I should be OK now, … Continue reading DNA
Soft Watches
Soft Watches by Chris Green ‘Google seemed a little under the weather when she greeted me this morning,’ Rosie says, ‘I thought she sounded croaky last night too when I asked her who did the painting with the soft watches hanging from trees. I hope she isn’t going down with something.’ ‘Who did the painting … Continue reading Soft Watches
Stake-Out
Stake-Out by Chris Green The black Mitsubishi has been parked there for several days now. Les Rubio first noticed it on Monday, when he came back from a business lunch at The Whistle Blower. The big SUV has been there in the same position, on the opposite side of the road fifty yards from his … Continue reading Stake-Out
Shooting Script
Shooting Script by Chris Green 1: The headline on the front page of The Independent, Shot Down in Downing Street came as a shock to Catherine Larsson. It was accompanied by a grainy picture of the Prime Minister clutching his shoulder. A trail of blood appeared to be trickling down his white shirt. Unaware that … Continue reading Shooting Script
Where Have All the Flowers Gone?
Where Have All the Flowers Gone? by Chris Green Always something of a wild man, Danny Rocco isn’t the type you would expect to find at a Ludovico Einaudi recital. But the main reason that Danny’s being at the Einaudi concert is unlikely is that Danny Rocco is dead. He met his maker three years … Continue reading Where Have All the Flowers Gone?
Homburg
Homburg by Chris Green Ben Maceo told me about the clock last week. Ben has special powers, you see. He can tell when things are going to happen. Had it been anyone else, I would never have believed them, but as it was Ben, I knew that it would happen, and so I was able … Continue reading Homburg
When I Was Older
When I Was Older by Chris Green When I was older, I was a saxophonist. I was one of the last living saxophonists before the instrument was banned and all saxophones were melted down to help the war effort. The trumpet suffered a similar fate. Brass instrument detection squads with sophisticated detection equipment were deployed … Continue reading When I Was Older
It Ain’t Necessarily So
It Ain’t Necessarily So by Chris Green Man Eats Goldfish at County Fair, the headline poster outside the newsagents says. At first, I assume this must refer to a report in the local paper. A light-hearted line to draw you in and get you to buy the paper. Lord knows The West Country Gazette needs … Continue reading It Ain’t Necessarily So
The Life and Times of Roy Saxx
The Life and Times of Roy Saxx by Chris Green I'd better start at the end. Roy Saxx is dead. He met his maker in September 2011 when he lost control of his Triumph motorcycle on a blind bend in a freak thunderstorm near the aptly named village of Kilve in the Quantock Hills. He … Continue reading The Life and Times of Roy Saxx
Now Lorraine Has Gone
Now Lorraine Has Gone by Chris Green I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone. Lorraine used to hide my glasses and I would keep bumping into things around the house until I managed to find them. She knew how short-sighted I was and seemed to find my fumbling in the dark funny. I didn’t. … Continue reading Now Lorraine Has Gone
Magic and Loss
Magic and Loss by Chris Green Let me introduce myself. I’m Miles London. I am a collector of specialist celebrity memorabilia. Primarily things that have belonged to dead A-List rock stars. I do not go for the obvious trophies like guitars or jackets. Nor do autographed photos interest me. I like items that tell a … Continue reading Magic and Loss
Watership Down
WATERSHIP DOWN - a cautionary tale by Chris Green ‘I’m round at Margot’s and her computer isn’t working, Adam,’ Suzy says. ‘We thought you might be able to help.’ ‘Ask her if she has hit the any key again,’ I say. ‘She says she doesn’t know which key the any key is,’ Suzy says. ‘Oh! … Continue reading Watership Down
O Sole Mio
O Sole Mio by Chris Green Sophie and I wonder why, at around the same time every Saturday evening, the ice-cream van makes its way up the Close. At about seven-thirty, we hear twenty seconds of O Sole Mio as the van comes around the corner. The initial chime is followed by another ten-second burst … Continue reading O Sole Mio
Invisibility
INVISIBILITY by Chris Green I discovered I could make people invisible. I found out by accident when I was working at the Ministry of Science and Technology. The Board refused to believe my evidence and summarily dismissed me. They could not see what was staring them in the face, or in this case not. They … Continue reading Invisibility
South by Southwest
South by Southwest by Chris Green I have been sitting around the house all winter waiting for the call. I have been waiting so long that I have had time to set up a profitable giclée printing business. ‘Just be ready,’ I was told. That was last October. I have frequently wondered whether the phone … Continue reading South by Southwest
Hunky Dory 2019
Hunky Dory 2019 by Chris Green It all began one hot stormy night two years back when Hermione and I were living in Joy Street in Bridgewater. I dreamt it was 1972 and the album, Hunky Dory was playing. I was listening to the album, slowly and leisurely as I would have back then if … Continue reading Hunky Dory 2019
Only One Reality
Only One Reality by Chris Green A second did not seem an important integer, but therein lay the problem. It was such a small unit of time. Yet, such was the degree of precision operating in the overcrowded skies that if Quincey Sargent had returned from his break seven seconds earlier or seven seconds later, … Continue reading Only One Reality
Hitman
Hitman by Chris Green You don’t expect to see hitmen at English village cricket matches. But the man dressed in black with the Moscot sunglasses on the bench on the other side of the ground is Cosa Nostra. Sophie and I are sure of it. He is wearing a gun beneath his dark suit. We … Continue reading Hitman
Slumpton 1980
Slumpton 1980 by Chris Green The door to number 16 slammed in Harry’s face, as it had more times than Harry cared to remember. Its split green and orange panels were all too familiar. Familiar too were the plywood and chicken wire that was nailed over the space where the window had once been. The … Continue reading Slumpton 1980
The Hurdy Gurdy Man
The Hurdy Gurdy Man by Chris Green It is after midnight. Lois and I are watching a nail-biting episode of Bad Break on Horizon when the old man in the threadbare purple duffle coat calls round. He is selling violins. In these uncertain times, traders are likely to call round at any time of day … Continue reading The Hurdy Gurdy Man
FIFTY – five vignettes
FIFTY – five vignettes by Chris Green Fifteen: It is May 1967. I am fifteen years old. I am walking through Wellesley Park with my friends, Dave, and Keith. I should be at school but I’m not. Dave is two years older than me and should be at college but he’s not, and Keith has … Continue reading FIFTY – five vignettes
Tangerine Trees
Tangerine Trees by Chris Green ‘Hey Lewis,’ Carol calls out. ‘Come and look at this!’ ‘What?’ Lewis calls back. ‘I’ve found something weird.’ Taking advantage of the Spring sunshine, the pair have driven out of town and are walking their salt and pepper Schnauzer, Bono through Wolverton Woods. Lewis has had a message on … Continue reading Tangerine Trees
YODEL
Yodel by Chris Green I took up yodelling to fight depression. I had lost my job at the packaging plant and Laura had left me. Everything came tumbling down. Each day seemed blacker than the one before. I felt unable to cope, couldn’t see any point in carrying on. I began to think of how … Continue reading YODEL
The Other Half Live
The Other Half Live by Chris Green ‘I see Flagman has a new flag flying today,’ says Peter Booth, with the distracted air of a forty-something suburban professional, stuck for something to say. ‘Flagman?’ says Lauren Henderson, the flighty new neighbour. ‘I’m guessing that’s the fellow down the road with a flagpole in his … Continue reading The Other Half Live
Nevermind
Nevermind by Chris Green Growing up was never going to be easy for me. I could see from an early age that my parents were simply too distracted to put effort into raising a family. In the circles in which they moved, parenting was not fashionable. They immersed themselves in a series of leisure interests, … Continue reading Nevermind
Concerto
Concerto by Chris Green 1: Allegretto con moto There are not many famous Spanish concert pianists, fewer still from Cantabria, that rainy green strip in the north of the country. Nia Buendía might have joined this small elite, if only she had had larger hands. She mastered Mozart’s Piano Sonatas before she was ten and … Continue reading Concerto
Phone BIll
Phone Bill by Chris Green I read somewhere that over half of all the people in the world have never received a telephone call. Sometimes I wish I was one of these. The phone should be a comfort but it can also be a curse. Unwanted calls can outnumber the ones from family and … Continue reading Phone BIll
It’s Not Unusual
It’s Not Unusual by Chris Green 1: Because of my vertigo, crossing the Severn Bridge has always been a problem for me. On account of my phobia, as I live in the south of England, I don’t tend to visit Wales. I don’t even know any Welsh people. I once worked with a Dewi Davies … Continue reading It’s Not Unusual
The Early Worm Catches The Bird
The Early Worm Catches The Bird by Chris Green ‘You’re telling me you found it in the car park and you thought you’d just plug it into your workstation,’ says Frank Flint. ‘It’s a fucking data stick. What did you suppose it might be doing lying there in the car park of a high-security organisation … Continue reading The Early Worm Catches The Bird
You Never Can Tell
You Never Can Tell by Chris Green Annie and I are sitting in a café called Lemon Jelli sipping peppermint tea. The space is laid out to look like a continental bar with comfortable seating and 1930s French travel posters on the wall. We have come to Newton Abbot for the market. Annie is shopping … Continue reading You Never Can Tell
Everyone is Dead
Everyone is Dead by Chris Green ‘Everyone is Dead,’ the headline poster outside the newsagents reads. You can’t miss it. It is in big bold capitals. What can it mean? How can everyone be dead? I am alive for a start. The person who put the notice up could not have been dead. They must … Continue reading Everyone is Dead
Black Hats
Black Hats by Chris Green Promise and I are looking out onto a rocky outcrop in Es Calo de Sant Agustí in Formentera. We are sitting under a sun-bleached parasol outside a small café in the secluded bay. We are staying a hostal nearby. Beyond the pier, a handful of fishing boats rock gently in … Continue reading Black Hats
The Food of Love
The Food of Love by Chris Green 1: I’m Clinton Stroud. Some of you will have heard of me but for those of you who have not, I am composer, multi-instrumentalist and musical coach. A long-standing one to boot. I will be one hundred and twenty three next birthday. This is a little longer than … Continue reading The Food of Love
Puff the Magic Dragon
Puff the Magic Dragon by Chris Green Before he met Prism, John Straight seemed destined for success. He had a Degree in Business Management from a top university, a big black BMW with bull bars and he was willing to travel. In a word, John’s future looked rosy. He was the son of Sir James … Continue reading Puff the Magic Dragon
TIME
TIME by Chris Green Time is a bitch. You never know quite where you are with it. Einstein, bless him, argues that the distinction between past, present and future is an illusion, albeit a stubbornly persistent one. This morning as I go through the mail, I begin to appreciate the great man’s uncertainty. These bills … Continue reading TIME
Kick Out the Jams
Kick Out the Jams by Chris Green The MC5 don’t often come up in conversation these days. Many of you reading this may not have even heard of them but back in the day, they were big. In 1969, the MC5 were the loudest band in the world, louder even than The Who. Their 133 … Continue reading Kick Out the Jams
A.M.
A.M. by Chris Green Why am I awake? It’s 2:38 a.m. and it really doesn’t matter where San Anselmo is. But I have the song in my head, Snow in San Anselmo. Going around and around. My brain won’t let it go. I don’t have Van Morrison down as a skier so perhaps he’s referring … Continue reading A.M.
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Seven
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Seven by Chris Green As many of you will be aware, Wet Blanket Ron started life as one of my fictional creations, based originally on someone called Dale Loveless, a ne’er-do-well of my acquaintance. This, of course, was just a starting point for the character. In … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Seven
This Old Art of Mine
This Old Art of Mine by Chris Green It all began when my electric kettle exploded. One expects setbacks now and again. But, they seem to happen at the worst possible time. Because the government had for some undisclosed reason not paid my pension for two successive months, I had no money to replace the … Continue reading This Old Art of Mine
Warm Gun
Warm Gun by Chris Green ‘It’s difficult to concentrate on your Rainer Maria Rilke anthology when the woman next door is exercising her Jack Russell in the front garden.’ Darren Spurlock told Sergeant Larrisey. Darren smiled contentedly as he handed over the warm gun. Had John Lennon perhaps hit the nail on the head all … Continue reading Warm Gun
No Elle
No Elle by Chris Green Not wishing to start the day just yet, I listen to the springtime chirping of the birds outside the window while I piece together the events of last night. The concrete that seems to be lining my head suggests to me I had a fair bit to drink. I remember … Continue reading No Elle
DARK
DARK by Chris Green I am in the garden at The Pig and Whistle on a hot August evening. About a dozen of us are sat around a table. Darkness is descending, rapidly, the way it does in mid-August. The English summer is so fleeting. Blink and it is gone. Every year it seems the … Continue reading DARK
Salty Dog
Salty Dog by Chris Green I often come here to sit and watch the boats. I do not know much about boats or seafaring but I find the ebb and flow of the tides and the toing and froing of the vessels to be a kind of meditation. I understand a little about the tides … Continue reading Salty Dog
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Six
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Six by Chris Green The fat lady is not yet singing. Wet Blanket Ron wonders if there is then still time for a reprieve. A final act? A happy ending in this long and drawn out saga? He has been at the mercy of his heartless … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Six
Darkness on the Edge of Town
Darkness on the Edge of Town by Chris Green 1: Tim Soft is walking home along Marlboro Street. He feels he has had a wearying day at the office. He wishes it were Friday, but it's only Tuesday. A vintage Chevrolet Impala pulls up alongside him, one of the ones with the harmonica front grille … Continue reading Darkness on the Edge of Town
It Doesn’t Matter Anymore
It Doesn’t Matter Anymore by Chris Green I have just taken delivery of a large pot of gloss sealer when the call comes through on the burner. I was not expecting to be back in action so soon. I was hoping to finish off some painted ornamental stones, a hobby I’ve taken up to keep … Continue reading It Doesn’t Matter Anymore
Earworm
Earworm by Chris Green I wake up for the third morning in a row with the chorus of Dominique going round in my head. I don’t understand where this can have come from. I have not heard The Singing Nun’s tiresome tune for fifty years. You have probably never heard The Singing Nun in which … Continue reading Earworm
Aegean Blues
Aegean Blues by Chris Green The man and the woman arrive at the resort late in the evening. They are the only ones aboard the transfer coach to be dropped off here. Most of the others are headed south to the beach-party resort. Having made something of a detour, it is with an air of … Continue reading Aegean Blues
Moondog
Moondog by Chris Green All Airbnb hosts have different ideas about promoting their space and a different interpretation of hospitality. Emphasis might be on the style of the rooms, the location of the property or even the size of the breakfast they offer. Each let has a different vibe about it, dependent to some extent … Continue reading Moondog
Blackjack
Blackjack by Chris Green I open the front door to discover a large package on the doorstep. I did not hear anyone deliver it while I was getting ready to for work, or see anyone from the window. It’s huge. What can it be? I try to think of something I might have ordered. Something … Continue reading Blackjack
Ed
Ed by Chris Green It came in with the cat a fortnight ago last Tuesday. I was holding the back door open for Tiggy when in it darted. I couldn't get rid of it. It made itself well and truly at home. It seemed to consider itself the new household pet. I wouldn't have thought … Continue reading Ed
Play Your Sitar, Percy
Play Your Sitar, Percy by Chris Green We were carefree students caught up in the rapidly changing world of the late sixties. Five of us, Dylan, Barry, Roy, Syd and I shared a converted attic in a big old house, sufficiently far away from campus not to attract attention to us. We were stoned most … Continue reading Play Your Sitar, Percy
Unreliable Narraror
Unreliable Narrator by Chris Green A vermilion memo is circulating at the research establishment, one down from red. Red means evacuate. Tension levels are rising. I am glad it is time for my shift to end. Although I keep my head down at work, I have suspected for some time that there is something weird … Continue reading Unreliable Narraror
DreamCatcher
DreamCatcher by Chris Green Matt and Miranda make their way home after a bracing walk by the sea. They are striding out along Roald Dahl Avenue, one of a cluster of roads that are referred to simply as the mystery writers’ estate. All the roads here are named after masters of suspense. Although the … Continue reading DreamCatcher
Tilting At Windmills
Tilting At Windmills There was always something about Karl Oscuro that didn’t fit. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was, but from the first he seemed more than just the proverbial square peg. He had a pale complexion and always dressed in black, but so did many others. This was becoming a … Continue reading Tilting At Windmills
The Moons of Uranus
The Moons of Uranus by Chris Green 'Look, Sean! There are some avocets,' says Mara, excitedly. 'They are avocets, aren't they?' Mara turns and notices that instead of looking out of the window at the expanse of estuary they are passing, Sean is studying his train ticket. 'You've been poring over that ticket for about … Continue reading The Moons of Uranus
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN – Making Sense of Sixties Songs
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN – Making Sense of Sixties Songs by Chris Green BUS STOP The number 22 bus is late. As I stand there waiting, I find the song, Bus Stop by The Hollies running through my head. Call me anal but I now want to try to understand the … Continue reading SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN – Making Sense of Sixties Songs
Tequila Mockingbird
Tequila Mockingbird by Chris Green When Max turned out the light last night, he assumed he would wake up in the morning, pull back the chintz curtains to let in a little light and listen for a few moments to the birds singing in the back garden. Apart from a small corner in front of … Continue reading Tequila Mockingbird
Legend Bemusement
Legend Bemusement by Chris Green Charlotte walks in on me packing a travelling bag. She suspects, quite rightly, that I am off on a mission. I have not told her. I was leaving this until later. 'Going somewhere?' she asks. It is not a polite enquiry, more like the opening salvo of a pitched battle. … Continue reading Legend Bemusement
FEDORA
Fedora by Chris Green It is often difficult for an author to appraise his own work. Sometimes a story that he thinks is the real deal, goes down like a lead balloon. Other times a throwaway piece of nonsense is acclaimed by readers as a masterpiece. There seem to be no rules. It can help … Continue reading FEDORA
Marzipan Imbroglio
Marzipan Imbroglio by Chris Green When I read the post on Facebook that striker, Gary Trevor has signed for Mars United FC for a record £300 million, my first reaction is, oh yeah, sure. I run it straight through the bullshit detector on my browser, expecting it to confirm it as a fake news story, … Continue reading Marzipan Imbroglio
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 5
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 5 by Chris Green DALE 'Dale Loveless! What are you doing here?' says Annette Lard. 'Everyone thinks you are dead. Even that guy that writes the stories about you thinks you are dead. You know, the one that writes the Wet Blanket Ron stories. I can't … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 5
Banana Petroleum
Banana Petroleum by Chris Green ‘Banana petroleum,’ the caller says and then hangs up. Banana petroleum? It sounds like a cryptic crossword clue, or something. With the dull flat disconnected tone ringing in my ear, I continue to grip the receiver as if by registering my puzzlement, an explanation might be forthcoming. I record all … Continue reading Banana Petroleum
The Old Man and the Sea
The Old Man and the Sea by Chris Green Rain or shine, you will find the old man in the same spot on the beach, his back to the sea wall, gaze firmly fixed ahead, watching the ebb and flow of the tide. As you pass, you might remark to your companion that he is … Continue reading The Old Man and the Sea
The Sadness of the Post-Truth Pianist
The Sadness of the Post-Truth Pianist by Chris Green You don’t hear Mozart a lot on the radio these days. While his music isn’t officially banned like that of Beethoven and Bach, playing it is strongly discouraged. You can no longer buy decadent European music in the shops. No Fauré, No Debussy, no Chopin and … Continue reading The Sadness of the Post-Truth Pianist
Hat Band
Hat Band by Chris Green A jazz musician making his way down an Exeter street on a Wednesday morning with a charity shop bag full of bargain books can hardly be blamed for failing to notice that he is being tailed by a tall, thin man in a dark overcoat. Musicians are more accustomed to … Continue reading Hat Band
NIGHT TRAIN
Night Train by Chris Green No matter where you might be, the night train rumbles through every night at 3:05 am. Its low-pitched drone makes the whole room quake. Every time this happens, you find it disturbing. You briefly speculate as to what its ominous cargo might be and vow to find out, before going … Continue reading NIGHT TRAIN
White Stuff
White Stuff by Chris Green The best laid schemes o' mice an' men. Gang aft agley – Robert Burns It is said that accident is the real the director of life. Accident, of course, is not the same thing as destiny or fate and has nothing at all to do with synchronicity. Accident is pure … Continue reading White Stuff
The Cats of Ronda
The Cats of Ronda by Chris Green If you visit the historic city of Ronda in southern Spain, you are likely to notice that the cats scurrying around under the tables at alfresco restaurants for scraps are slender. While you are wondering whether to toss them the skin from your monkfish, what you may not … Continue reading The Cats of Ronda
Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon by Chris Green I'll start at the end. Jonny Bisco is dead. He met his maker in October 2009 when his Moto Guzzi motorcycle skidded off the road in a freak thunderstorm near the small town of Bovey Tracey on the edge of Dartmoor. He was sixty four years old. You may not … Continue reading Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
Light Fandango
LIGHT FANDANGO by Chris Green July 1966: Sunny Afternoon We are in the midst of a heatwave, there are smiles on people's faces and Sunny Afternoon is at Number One. It seems that the gloom and austerity of the post-war years, which in my nineteen years is all I have known, have finally been stripped … Continue reading Light Fandango
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 4
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 4 by Chris Green I thought that I had put the character of Wet Blanket Ron to bed. I had written three stories in the Wet Blanket Ron series and I felt that this was probably enough. No writer wants to keep going over old ground. … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 4
Walter Funk
Walter Funk by Chris Green Walter Funk was a legend. Yet, if you ask most people today, they will not have heard of him. Walter Funk has no Wikipedia page and an internet search will take you instead to the Nazi economist, Walther Funk, but we need not concern ourselves with him. Walter, on the … Continue reading Walter Funk
The Jolly Yachtsman – a Trip Advisor review
The Jolly Yachtsman – a Trip Advisor review by Chris Green Our intention had been to eat at the Ancient Mariner Inn, but parking the motor-home proved to be tricky. After I had scagged the bumper of a black Lexus, and broken the camper's reversing light, I gave up and drove down the hill to … Continue reading The Jolly Yachtsman – a Trip Advisor review
Barber, Ball and Bilk
Barber, Ball and Bilk by Chris Green The opportunity to see Barber, Ball and Bilk, the three B’s as they are being billed, in Bridgedown is too good to pass by. Bridgedown is eighty miles away and I don’t drive, but the train journey from Sheepdip Halt is easily doable. It involves just one change, … Continue reading Barber, Ball and Bilk
Across The Universe
Across The Universe by Chris Green There has been a secret underground line in the south of England for years. It can be accessed through a network of tunnels originating from the basement of a former Turkish dry-cleaners in Dulwich. The line runs for sixty miles deep underneath the Weald to the coast near Newhaven. … Continue reading Across The Universe
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Three
The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Three by Chris Green In his nineteen years on the force Sergeant Crooner has happened upon many strange scenarios. If he has learnt one thing from police work though, it is when something seems amiss there is usually a rational explanation. Cause and effect, action and … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Three
Buy and Buy
Buy and Buy by Chris Green When did personal computers cease to be a labour saving device? Without even looking at the Spam folder, it took nearly ten minutes daily to scroll down through the garbage in my inbox, searching for the one or two messages that might have some relevance on my life, or … Continue reading Buy and Buy
The Life and Times of Chadwick Dial
The Life and Times of Chadwick Dial by Chris Green 'It's him,' screamed Eve. 'It's Chadwick Dial. Look!' Eve Laszlo and I were aboard a coach on its way to Bath. We were going to see a new band called Oasis play at the Bath Pavilion. We had stopped off at Stroud to pick up … Continue reading The Life and Times of Chadwick Dial
Sticks
Sticks by Chris Green 1. 'Broadband?' says Mr Silver, scratching his head. 'No, we don't have broadband here. Whatever that is when it's at home.' 'The internet,' I say. 'Are you still on dial up round these parts, perhaps?' He looks around for someone else to ask, but there is no-one else in the shop. … Continue reading Sticks
THE WAR ON TERRA
The War On Terra by Chris Green There are now just thirty four of us trying to save the planet. I've counted. Thirty four, plus a few more perhaps living off the grid. The other seven point four billion residents of Terra are hell bent on its destruction, some pushing to get the job done … Continue reading THE WAR ON TERRA
Chris Green Stories 