Yodel by Chris Green I took up yodelling to fight depression. I had lost my job at the packaging plant and Laura had left me. Everything came tumbling down. Each day seemed blacker than the one before. I felt unable to cope, couldn’t see any point in carrying on. I began to think of how … Continue reading YODEL
Tag: mystery
The Other Half Live
The Other Half Live by Chris Green ‘I see Flagman has a new flag flying today,’ says Peter Booth, with the distracted air of a forty-something suburban professional, stuck for something to say. ‘Flagman?’ says Lauren Henderson, the flighty new neighbour. ‘I’m guessing that’s the fellow down the road with a flagpole in his … Continue reading The Other Half Live
Nevermind
Nevermind by Chris Green Growing up was never going to be easy for me. I could see from an early age that my parents were simply too distracted to put effort into raising a family. In the circles in which they moved, parenting was not fashionable. They immersed themselves in a series of leisure interests, … Continue reading Nevermind
Concerto
Concerto by Chris Green 1: Allegretto con moto There are not many famous Spanish concert pianists, fewer still from Cantabria, that rainy green strip in the north of the country. Nia Buendía might have joined this small elite, if only she had had larger hands. She mastered Mozart’s Piano Sonatas before she was ten and … Continue reading Concerto
It’s Not Unusual
It’s Not Unusual by Chris Green 1: Because of my vertigo, crossing the Severn Bridge has always been a problem for me. On account of my phobia, as I live in the south of England, I don’t tend to visit Wales. I don’t even know any Welsh people. I once worked with a Dewi Davies … Continue reading It’s Not Unusual
The Early Worm Catches The Bird
The Early Worm Catches The Bird by Chris Green ‘You’re telling me you found it in the car park and you thought you’d just plug it into your workstation,’ says Frank Flint. ‘It’s a fucking data stick. What did you suppose it might be doing lying there in the car park of a high-security organisation … Continue reading The Early Worm Catches The Bird
You Never Can Tell
You Never Can Tell by Chris Green Annie and I are sitting in a café called Lemon Jelli sipping peppermint tea. The space is laid out to look like a continental bar with comfortable seating and 1930s French travel posters on the wall. We have come to Newton Abbot for the market. Annie is shopping … Continue reading You Never Can Tell
Everyone is Dead
Everyone is Dead by Chris Green ‘Everyone is Dead,’ the headline poster outside the newsagents reads. You can’t miss it. It is in big bold capitals. What can it mean? How can everyone be dead? I am alive for a start. The person who put the notice up could not have been dead. They must … Continue reading Everyone is Dead
Black Hats
Black Hats by Chris Green Promise and I are looking out onto a rocky outcrop in Es Calo de Sant Agustí in Formentera. We are sitting under a sun-bleached parasol outside a small café in the secluded bay. We are staying a hostal nearby. Beyond the pier, a handful of fishing boats rock gently in … Continue reading Black Hats
TIME
TIME by Chris Green Time is a bitch. You never know quite where you are with it. Einstein, bless him, argues that the distinction between past, present and future is an illusion, albeit a stubbornly persistent one. This morning as I go through the mail, I begin to appreciate the great man’s uncertainty. These bills … Continue reading TIME
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Seven
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Seven by Chris Green As many of you will be aware, Wet Blanket Ron started life as one of my fictional creations, based originally on someone called Dale Loveless, a ne’er-do-well of my acquaintance. This, of course, was just a starting point for the character. In … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Seven
No Elle
No Elle by Chris Green Not wishing to start the day just yet, I listen to the springtime chirping of the birds outside the window while I piece together the events of last night. The concrete that seems to be lining my head suggests to me I had a fair bit to drink. I remember … Continue reading No Elle
DARK
DARK by Chris Green I am in the garden at The Pig and Whistle on a hot August evening. About a dozen of us are sat around a table. Darkness is descending, rapidly, the way it does in mid-August. The English summer is so fleeting. Blink and it is gone. Every year it seems the … Continue reading DARK
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Six
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Six by Chris Green The fat lady is not yet singing. Wet Blanket Ron wonders if there is then still time for a reprieve. A final act? A happy ending in this long and drawn out saga? He has been at the mercy of his heartless … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Six
It Doesn’t Matter Anymore
It Doesn’t Matter Anymore by Chris Green I have just taken delivery of a large pot of gloss sealer when the call comes through on the burner. I was not expecting to be back in action so soon. I was hoping to finish off some painted ornamental stones, a hobby I’ve taken up to keep … Continue reading It Doesn’t Matter Anymore
Moondog
Moondog by Chris Green All Airbnb hosts have different ideas about promoting their space and a different interpretation of hospitality. Emphasis might be on the style of the rooms, the location of the property or even the size of the breakfast they offer. Each let has a different vibe about it, dependent to some extent … Continue reading Moondog
Blackjack
Blackjack by Chris Green I open the front door to discover a large package on the doorstep. I did not hear anyone deliver it while I was getting ready to for work, or see anyone from the window. It’s huge. What can it be? I try to think of something I might have ordered. Something … Continue reading Blackjack
Unreliable Narraror
Unreliable Narrator by Chris Green A vermilion memo is circulating at the research establishment, one down from red. Red means evacuate. Tension levels are rising. I am glad it is time for my shift to end. Although I keep my head down at work, I have suspected for some time that there is something weird … Continue reading Unreliable Narraror
DreamCatcher
DreamCatcher by Chris Green Matt and Miranda make their way home after a bracing walk by the sea. They are striding out along Roald Dahl Avenue, one of a cluster of roads that are referred to simply as the mystery writers’ estate. All the roads here are named after masters of suspense. Although the … Continue reading DreamCatcher
Tilting At Windmills
Tilting At Windmills There was always something about Karl Oscuro that didn’t fit. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was, but from the first he seemed more than just the proverbial square peg. He had a pale complexion and always dressed in black, but so did many others. This was becoming a … Continue reading Tilting At Windmills
The Moons of Uranus
The Moons of Uranus by Chris Green 'Look, Sean! There are some avocets,' says Mara, excitedly. 'They are avocets, aren't they?' Mara turns and notices that instead of looking out of the window at the expanse of estuary they are passing, Sean is studying his train ticket. 'You've been poring over that ticket for about … Continue reading The Moons of Uranus
Legend Bemusement
Legend Bemusement by Chris Green Charlotte walks in on me packing a travelling bag. She suspects, quite rightly, that I am off on a mission. I have not told her. I was leaving this until later. 'Going somewhere?' she asks. It is not a polite enquiry, more like the opening salvo of a pitched battle. … Continue reading Legend Bemusement
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 5
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 5 by Chris Green DALE 'Dale Loveless! What are you doing here?' says Annette Lard. 'Everyone thinks you are dead. Even that guy that writes the stories about you thinks you are dead. You know, the one that writes the Wet Blanket Ron stories. I can't … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 5
Banana Petroleum
Banana Petroleum by Chris Green ‘Banana petroleum,’ the caller says and then hangs up. Banana petroleum? It sounds like a cryptic crossword clue, or something. With the dull flat disconnected tone ringing in my ear, I continue to grip the receiver as if by registering my puzzlement, an explanation might be forthcoming. I record all … Continue reading Banana Petroleum
The Old Man and the Sea
The Old Man and the Sea by Chris Green Rain or shine, you will find the old man in the same spot on the beach, his back to the sea wall, gaze firmly fixed ahead, watching the ebb and flow of the tide. As you pass, you might remark to your companion that he is … Continue reading The Old Man and the Sea
NIGHT TRAIN
Night Train by Chris Green No matter where you might be, the night train rumbles through every night at 3:05 am. Its low-pitched drone makes the whole room quake. Every time this happens, you find it disturbing. You briefly speculate as to what its ominous cargo might be and vow to find out, before going … Continue reading NIGHT TRAIN
White Stuff
White Stuff by Chris Green The best laid schemes o' mice an' men. Gang aft agley – Robert Burns It is said that accident is the real the director of life. Accident, of course, is not the same thing as destiny or fate and has nothing at all to do with synchronicity. Accident is pure … Continue reading White Stuff
The Cats of Ronda
The Cats of Ronda by Chris Green If you visit the historic city of Ronda in southern Spain, you are likely to notice that the cats scurrying around under the tables at alfresco restaurants for scraps are slender. While you are wondering whether to toss them the skin from your monkfish, what you may not … Continue reading The Cats of Ronda
Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon by Chris Green I'll start at the end. Jonny Bisco is dead. He met his maker in October 2009 when his Moto Guzzi motorcycle skidded off the road in a freak thunderstorm near the small town of Bovey Tracey on the edge of Dartmoor. He was sixty four years old. You may not … Continue reading Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
Barber, Ball and Bilk
Barber, Ball and Bilk by Chris Green The opportunity to see Barber, Ball and Bilk, the three B’s as they are being billed, in Bridgedown is too good to pass by. Bridgedown is eighty miles away and I don’t drive, but the train journey from Sheepdip Halt is easily doable. It involves just one change, … Continue reading Barber, Ball and Bilk
Across The Universe
Across The Universe by Chris Green There has been a secret underground line in the south of England for years. It can be accessed through a network of tunnels originating from the basement of a former Turkish dry-cleaners in Dulwich. The line runs for sixty miles deep underneath the Weald to the coast near Newhaven. … Continue reading Across The Universe
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Three
The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Three by Chris Green In his nineteen years on the force Sergeant Crooner has happened upon many strange scenarios. If he has learnt one thing from police work though, it is when something seems amiss there is usually a rational explanation. Cause and effect, action and … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Three
Buy and Buy
Buy and Buy by Chris Green When did personal computers cease to be a labour saving device? Without even looking at the Spam folder, it took nearly ten minutes daily to scroll down through the garbage in my inbox, searching for the one or two messages that might have some relevance on my life, or … Continue reading Buy and Buy
The Life and Times of Chadwick Dial
The Life and Times of Chadwick Dial by Chris Green 'It's him,' screamed Eve. 'It's Chadwick Dial. Look!' Eve Laszlo and I were aboard a coach on its way to Bath. We were going to see a new band called Oasis play at the Bath Pavilion. We had stopped off at Stroud to pick up … Continue reading The Life and Times of Chadwick Dial
Sticks
Sticks by Chris Green 1. 'Broadband?' says Mr Silver, scratching his head. 'No, we don't have broadband here. Whatever that is when it's at home.' 'The internet,' I say. 'Are you still on dial up round these parts, perhaps?' He looks around for someone else to ask, but there is no-one else in the shop. … Continue reading Sticks
Jimi Hendrix’s Kite (2015)
Jimi Hendrix's Kite by Chris Green Part 1: The Twenty Seven Club It is seven on a Saturday morning. I am enjoying a leisurely bath before going to the Strawberry Fields car boot. This gets going at about eight thirty so I have plenty of time. My bath is a large cast iron Victorian model … Continue reading Jimi Hendrix’s Kite (2015)
Isn’t It Good, Norwegian Wood
Isn't It Good, Norwegian Wood by Chris Green Rubber Soul is my favourite Beatles album. It is the album in which John Lennon raises his game. In My Life is surely one of the most perfectly crafted pop songs ever, Girl is sublime, and still there is the enigmatic Norwegian Wood. Norwegian Wood with its … Continue reading Isn’t It Good, Norwegian Wood
The Vexillographer’s Daughter
The Vexillographer's Daughter by Chris Green ONE: RAIN It had rained every single day for the three summer months. Every morning at around five past seven with my bacon and egg sunny side up I would watch the weather forecast on JustNews. The weather presenter would come on and shrug sheepishly in front of a … Continue reading The Vexillographer’s Daughter
FILM
FILM by Chris Green I have never watched an interactive film before. IF, as it is becoming known, is a revolutionary idea to get the audience involved in what they would like to see happen on the screen. I am watching with an open mind. I feel that democratising cinema in this way has great … Continue reading FILM
DRUGS
Drugs – a short story by Chris Green We are lounging in the garden of Astral Parlour, the name we have given to a pair of crumbling farm cottages deep in the Cotswold Hills. It is a summer afternoon and the sun is high overhead. There are about a dozen of us. I can't say … Continue reading DRUGS
The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Two
The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Two by Chris Green I can hear a phone, one of the emergency ones I keep in my office drawer. Each has an individual ring tone, but I've lost track of which ring tone is for which client. It seemed a good idea, at first, when … Continue reading The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron – Part Two
Jimi Hendrix’s Kite
Jimi Hendrix's Kite by Chris Green It is seven o'clock on a Saturday morning and I am enjoying a leisurely bath before going to the car boot. This does not usually get going until about eight thirty at this time of year, so I have plenty of time. My bath is a large cast iron … Continue reading Jimi Hendrix’s Kite
Strings
STRINGS by Chris Green The goat is not supposed to be in the house. My daughter Jessica has let it in with the cats. Properly speaking, we only have one cat, a ginger tom called Thomas. But Jessica is of an age that she likes animals, her enthusiasm fuelled by a plethora of wildlife programmes … Continue reading Strings
Selling Wales
Selling Wales by Chris Green Experimental justice, it is called. I am in a pilot area for the scheme. I have been granted bail but the terms surrounding my curfew are strict. I am effectively under house arrest and I am also tagged. It would be easy to go stir crazy when you are stuck … Continue reading Selling Wales
Chris Green Stories 