Cor Anglais by Chris Green Sea mists have been building in strength over the last few weeks, and this is the worst one we’ve had. It’s a solid sheet of dense grey. Visibility is down a matter of feet. It is foolhardy to be walking along the narrow path. But the dogs next door were … Continue reading Cor Anglais
Tag: surreal
Jazz
JAZZ by Chris Green 1: She came into Birth of Cool and asked if we had an original New York Prestige yellow label vinyl pressing of Webster Young’s For Lady. The precision of her request startled me. ‘Featuring Mal Waldron on piano and Paul Quinichette on tenor sax,’ I said. ‘Mellow album. We have a … Continue reading Jazz
The Feelgood Calendar
The Feelgood Calendar by Chris Green Charlie Feelgood awoke from a dream. He had been lost in a dark place on the outskirts of an unfamiliar town with tall shadowy buildings. He was driving a stolen car that he could not control properly. The brake and accelerator pedals had been switched and the steering wheel … Continue reading The Feelgood Calendar
Department Ж – ‘a man’s story’
Department Ж – ‘a man’s story’ by Chris Green Officially, my job doesn’t exist. Nor do the jobs of the other operators in Department Ж. Department Ж is a clandestine organisation, with no mailing address, phone number, or website. It appears on no records. Its headquarters are to be found only by the very determined, … Continue reading Department Ж – ‘a man’s story’
Mood Indigo
Mood Indigo by Chris Green I am out in the back, struggling over a spreadsheet, when I hear the bell ring. I cannot see the woman who has come into the shop, but it appears she can see me. ‘Have you got Soul Junction by Red Garland?’ she calls out. ‘If I have, it’ll be … Continue reading Mood Indigo
Odds
Odds by Chris Green Having worked at BiggerBet, Eddie Lovett knows his way around odds. Eddie knows, for instance, the bookmakers’ odds of Watford winning the Premier League are 1,000 to 1. The mathematical odds of being dealt a Straight Flush at five-card Draw Poker are 72,192 to 1. The odds of winning the jackpot … Continue reading Odds
Hunky Dory
Hunky Dory by Chris Green Writers of self-help books are fond of telling you that life always offers you a second chance, it is called tomorrow. This is all very well. It’s something you can look forward to. But what if you could have your second chance yesterday? This would mean that you still had … Continue reading Hunky Dory
Travel by Train
Travel by Train by Chris Green I have never taken much notice of the station at Nevermore. In my experience, the train always passes through it without stopping. Nevermore appears to be a place of little significance. It has no Wikipedia page and is difficult to find on the map. All I have ever registered … Continue reading Travel by Train
Ki
Ki by Chris Green I have just taken a photo of the blue sea with the bank of cloud over the dark headland, when the stranger with the mirror sunglasses appears out of nowhere. He asks me if I am a professional photographer. ‘Not at all,’ I say. ‘It’s only a Canon PowerShot. But there … Continue reading Ki
Time Out
Time Out by Chris Green The train has never been this late. It is nearly 10 o’clock. Max has been waiting for over an hour. He has been through nearly all of the Thelonious Monk selections on his iPhone. He may have missed something but so far as he can tell, there have been no … Continue reading Time Out
Altavista
Altavista by Chris Green Magenta does not enjoy riding the elevator to Red’s nineteenth-floor apartment in Altavista. It moves so slowly that it doesn’t seem to be moving at all. But security is tight. The chance of encountering an assailant in Altavista is small. The building has a uniformed concierge to vet unwanted visitors. The … Continue reading Altavista
Different Worlds
Different Worlds by Chris Green I have no recollection of how I arrived at this remote place or where it might be. I have lost my phone, so I have no means of checking my location. There appear to be no roads leading to or from here in any direction. I have trudged several miles … Continue reading Different Worlds
April’s Shower
April's Shower by Chris Green Hotel California strikes me as an odd little café. Apart from the curious choice of name, it is situated underground and has no windows. Despite its claustrophobic feel, the acoustics seem to belong to a much larger space. The sound fades in and out and bounces off the walls in … Continue reading April’s Shower
Chocolate is at Six
Chocolate is at Six by Chris Green The brightly coloured bus was there every morning. Parked in the bus bay by the side of the road, in Bridge Street, Paloma passed it on her way to school. There was nothing to show where the bus might be going, and no one ever seemed to get … Continue reading Chocolate is at Six
Cover Story
Cover Story by Chris Green A vermilion memo is circulating at the research establishment, one down from red. Red means evacuate. Tension levels are rising. I am glad it is time for my shift to end. Although I keep my head down at work, I have suspected for a long time something weird is going … Continue reading Cover Story
Blues Harp
Blues Harp by Chris Green Man Eats Goldfish at County Fair, the headline poster outside the newsagents says. At first, I assume this must refer to a report in the local paper. A light-hearted line to draw you in and get you to buy the paper. Lord knows The West Country Gazette needs all the … Continue reading Blues Harp
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 8
The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron - Part Eight by Chris Green 1: When Picasso said everything you can imagine is real, he was presumably referring to his art. But could this also be the starting point for fiction? How else can we build a believable world out of something that doesn’t exist? How … Continue reading The Continuing Story of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 8
No Dark Side of the Moon
No Dark Side of the Moon by Chris Green ‘Don’t blow in a bear’s ear.’ the stranger in the Astrakhan coat says, as he passes me on October Avenue. I am puzzled. Does he not realise there are no bears in these parts? The nearest thing to a bear is the Sonny Liston lookalike who … Continue reading No Dark Side of the Moon
Me and My Shadow
Me and My Shadow by Chris Green The late October greyness means the beach is deserted. Now the season has ended, the beach-hut owners have shut up shop for the winter. Row upon row of these bijou coastal retreats stand empty. Many have security shutters down or are boarded up and padlocked. Perhaps it … Continue reading Me and My Shadow
Lenticular Clouds
Lenticular Clouds by Chris Green Lenticular clouds hang over Mount Dante in the distance. Disc-shaped and silver, they have an air of the surreal about them. You expect clouds to move across the sky with the wind, but these are stationary. Here in the town below, the inhabitants are … Continue reading Lenticular Clouds
Ceci n’est pas Une Batte
Ceçi n’est pas une batte by Chris Green Not many people realise that the surrealist painter, René Magritte was a big fan of English cricket. He discovered cricket by accident in a newspaper article in the 1930s. Although he had a reasonable command of English, the unfamiliar language baffled him. Innings, runs, overs, wickets, stumps, … Continue reading Ceci n’est pas Une Batte
666 – The Number of the Bus
666 – The Number of the Bus by Chris Green Mr Saxx who taught us Maths in Year 11 was obsessed with probability. In his classes, we were required to calculate the probability of many unlikely scenarios. Based on historical performance and the profile of those players currently available for selection, what was the probability … Continue reading 666 – The Number of the Bus
Trout Fishing
Trout Fishing by Chris Green FRIDAY ‘Sunsets on Mars are blue,’ says the man’s voice coming from behind her. It is too loud for her to ignore. Suzy turns around to see a stranger in a badly creased seersucker suit has sat down at the next table. He is alone. Is he talking to her … Continue reading Trout Fishing
Nightswimming
Nightswimming by Chris Green On the face of it, Nightswimming is about someone’s fond memories of skinny-dipping in their younger days. Surely though, the song is about dreaming. You couldn’t get a more haunting tune or a more dreamlike arrangement. And the band are called REM. Rapid Eye Movement. What more do you need? It’s … Continue reading Nightswimming
Silent Trumpet
Silent Trumpet by Chris Green 1: Quincy Saxx introduces himself at a Free Eva Morales rally. I have not met him before, so I am puzzled that he appears to know me. He laughs and says that everybody knows Cliff Rhodes. The thing is, I am not Cliff Rhodes, nor am I Jordan Castle who … Continue reading Silent Trumpet
Ben Maceo
Ben Maceo by Chris Green Ben Maceo told me about the clock last week. Ben has special powers, you see. He can tell when things are going to happen. Had it been anyone else, I would never have believed them, but as it was Ben, I knew … Continue reading Ben Maceo
Wish You Were Here
Wish You Were Here by Chris Green The huge red and green trucks thunder along the carriageways of the two-lane motorway in both directions. There is something both hostile and haphazard about the way they cross from lane to lane, throwing up dense clouds of dust from the parched road surface. The trucks are military … Continue reading Wish You Were Here
The Startling Discovery of Phlogiston
The Startling Discovery Of Phlogiston by Chris Green Things started getting weird around here some time ago, following the startling discovery of phlogiston. The previous belief, kept alive for many years by charlatans, was that everything was made up of 118 elements, all arranged neatly by the number of protons, electron configurations and recurring chemical … Continue reading The Startling Discovery of Phlogiston
Cat Town
Cat Town by Chris Green Chet’s train to Chatton has never been this late. It is seven o’clock. He has been on the platform for an hour and a half without seeing a soul. Where are the other passengers? Admittedly, Dark Hollow is a quiet backwater, but in the six weeks he has been working … Continue reading Cat Town
More Weird Shit – an Inspector Boss Mystery
More Weird Shit – An Inspector Boss Mystery by Chris Green ‘It didn’t occur to you that a two-year-old Mercedes Sprinter on sale in Toker’s End for less than two grand might be hot,’ Jonny Geezer says. ‘To be fair, we were a bit strapped for cash, guv, and there wasn’t that much around,’ Gandy … Continue reading More Weird Shit – an Inspector Boss Mystery
Soft Watches
Soft Watches by Chris Green ‘Google seemed a little under the weather when she greeted me this morning,’ Rosie says, ‘I thought she sounded croaky last night too when I asked her who did the painting with the soft watches hanging from trees. I hope she isn’t going down with something.’ ‘Who did the painting … Continue reading Soft Watches
Listening Centre
Listening Centre by Chris Green Sandwich Man walks past our house at five to six every evening, just before the end of Pointless on television. He passes on his way home from the listening centre where he works. From the back entrance of the base, Cheltenham Close offers a short cut to Connery Way and … Continue reading Listening Centre
Where Have All the Flowers Gone?
Where Have All the Flowers Gone? by Chris Green Always something of a wild man, Danny Rocco isn’t the type you would expect to find at a Ludovico Einaudi recital. But the main reason that Danny’s being at the Einaudi concert is unlikely is that Danny Rocco is dead. He met his maker three years … Continue reading Where Have All the Flowers Gone?
In Dreams
IN DREAMS by Chris Green The girl at the next table is the spitting image of the one I was dreaming about little more than an hour ago. The dream comes back to me now in vivid technicolour cinema surround sound. There is no doubt about it. It is her. The suntanned beauty sitting six … Continue reading In Dreams
The Aardvark of Uncertainty
The Aardvark of Uncertainty by Chris Green I appear to have swapped the cow for a handful of beans. My memory of the transaction is a little hazy but here are the beans. It seems a strange kind of bargain to have made. Why would I do such a thing? Looking on the bright side, … Continue reading The Aardvark of Uncertainty
Hunky Dory 2019
Hunky Dory 2019 by Chris Green It all began one hot stormy night two years back when Hermione and I were living in Joy Street in Bridgewater. I dreamt it was 1972 and the album, Hunky Dory was playing. I was listening to the album, slowly and leisurely as I would have back then if … Continue reading Hunky Dory 2019
IDEAS
IDEAS by Chris Green ‘I’m telling you,’ says Flavia. ‘The guy was a complete stranger. He just walked up to me and handed me the bag.’ ‘And you didn’t think to say what are you doing or who are you or anything like that,’ says Matt. ‘There wasn’t time. It all happened very quickly,’ says … Continue reading IDEAS
Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk
Why is a Raven Like a Writing Desk? by Chris Green The tall stranger in the Duster overcoat appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a broad-rimmed sheriff’s hat complete with campaign cord and silver star. I felt this was odd. This was a sleepy West Somerset coastal resort, not Washington County. Perhaps he felt … Continue reading Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk
TIME
TIME by Chris Green Time is a bitch. You never know quite where you are with it. Einstein, bless him, argues that the distinction between past, present and future is an illusion, albeit a stubbornly persistent one. This morning as I go through the mail, I begin to appreciate the great man’s uncertainty. These bills … Continue reading TIME
Chinese Boxes
Chinese Boxes by Chris Green The fire engine comes hurtling towards me. It is out of control. It has no driver. Conan Doyle Street is narrow and the precipitate leviathan gathers momentum as it heads down the slope. I dive for safety into the doorway of the antiquarian bookstore. The fire engine forges ahead, gradually … Continue reading Chinese Boxes
Tilting At Windmills
Tilting At Windmills by Chris Green There was always something about Karl Oscuro that didn't fit. You couldn't quite put your finger on what it was, but from the very first he seemed to be more than just the proverbial square peg. He had a pale complexion and always dressed in black, but then, so … Continue reading Tilting At Windmills
THE END
The End by Chris Green At first, the sound is little more than an intermittent background hum. I put this down to tinnitus. But, the hum does not go away. Over a period of a few days, it becomes more pervasive. Eventually, it is a permanent drone. On her return from her counselling conference up … Continue reading THE END
QUINCE
QUINCE by Chris Green Giles Riddler tells me the quince tree blossoming in the front garden was the deciding factor in them buying the house. Had it not been for the quince tree, the Briggs and Mortimer board outside the 1930s semi-detached villa in Heisenberg Avenue might have gone unnoticed. Giles and Audrey apparently were … Continue reading QUINCE
ART OF DARKNESS
Art Of Darkness by Chris Green It seems a long time ago now that Passion and I arrived at Kemble station, in the Gloucestershire countryside. We had taken the Great Western train down from London and were planning to explore the Cotswolds. Passion and I have always been keen walkers and had been told … Continue reading ART OF DARKNESS
Harmonica Drive
Harmonica Drive by Chris Green Sandwich Man walks past our house at five to six every evening, just before the end of Pointless on television. He passes on his way home from the listening centre where he works. From the back entrance of the base, Cheltenham Close offers a short cut to Tambourine Way and … Continue reading Harmonica Drive
The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron
The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron – Part 1 by Chris Green Fortune has not favoured Ron Smoot recently. He has suffered one setback after another. He was just coming to terms with losing his job in the drawing office when he was knocked down by a hit and run driver on Black Dog … Continue reading The Continuing Story Of Wet Blanket Ron
Strings
STRINGS by Chris Green The goat is not supposed to be in the house. My daughter Jessica has let it in with the cats. Properly speaking, we only have one cat, a ginger tom called Thomas. But Jessica is of an age that she likes animals, her enthusiasm fuelled by a plethora of wildlife programmes … Continue reading Strings
Chris Green Stories 