Bacon by Chris Green Will notices The Guardian newspaper in front of him has tomorrow’s date. Normally, this might not matter too much. There would probably be an innocent explanation. The Guardian, after all, is famous for its misprints, but it is unlikely that an edition would have gone out with the wrong date on … Continue reading Bacon
Tag: internet
Google Knows
Google Knows by Chris Green ‘You may have a point with what you were saying last week,’ Max says. ‘Every time I search for something online, I get adverts for products vaguely related to it for days. Nine times out of ten, I didn’t even want whatever it was in the first place.’ ‘Frightening, isn’t … Continue reading Google Knows
(NOT) BEING DMITRI SHOSTAKOVICH
(Not) Being Dmitri Shostakovich by Chris Green The knock on the door at 3 a.m. wakes me with a jolt. At first I think I must have imagined it, but there it is again. Not just a friendly tap like you might get from a neighbour to tell you that you have left your car … Continue reading (NOT) BEING DMITRI SHOSTAKOVICH
The Start of Something Big
The Start of Something Big by Chris Green ‘There was no before the beginning of the universe, because once upon a time, there was no time. Big bang or no big bang, it makes no difference. Even if God created everything, the argument still stands. There, that solves that one, Vincent. That will save needless … Continue reading The Start of Something Big
Genesis
Genesis by Chris Green GENESIS. That’s all it says. Genesis in large clear capitals. Informal font. Plain white envelope. It arrived overnight. Probably promotional literature for stuff I could not possibly want. Some fly-by-night scammer trying to make something worthless seem valuable or something pointless seem essential. The single sheet of A4 is short on … Continue reading Genesis
No Windows
No Windows by Chris Green Pablo Picasso said, if I don’t have red paint, I use blue. You have to be able to adapt to changes of fortune. I did not plan my early retirement, but here I am on a Tuesday morning sitting in my recliner with a toasted teacake and a cup of … Continue reading No Windows
Lost in Space
Lost in Space by Chris Green When it was just keeping up with social media and a bit of casual surfing, it was manageable. But since the gambling and online dating kicked in, it has become uncontrollable. I’m spending too much time on the internet. Every time I find myself with a spare moment, I’m … Continue reading Lost in Space
The Real History of the Internet
The Real History Of The Internet by Chris Green The Internet was invented by Pablo Gonzales in 1492. There are competing claims to the technology behind it, but Pablo was the one who established the Internet protocol suite (IPS). You may have seen pictures of the early personal computers but in case you have not, … Continue reading The Real History of the Internet
Best Kept Secret
Best Kept Secret by Chris Green ‘Van Morrison wanted to be a vet,’ the man says. ‘Who?’ says the girl, not looking up from the book she is reading. ‘Van Morrison, you know. Brown Eyed Girl, Bright Side Of The Road.’ ‘Oh! Him!’ the girl says, hoping this will put an end to the conversation. … Continue reading Best Kept Secret
You Never Know Who Your Friends Are
You Never Know Who Your Friends Are by Chris Green A writer can become dangerously obsessed with fiction. The temptation to create something original out of an ordinary everyday situation can be hard to resist. I could not possibly know what I was getting into when I created Quentin Thief’s social media profile. Quentin was … Continue reading You Never Know Who Your Friends Are
It Ain’t Necessarily So
It Ain’t Necessarily So by Chris Green Man Eats Goldfish at County Fair, the headline poster outside the newsagents says. At first, I assume this must refer to a report in the local paper. A light-hearted line to draw you in and get you to buy the paper. Lord knows The West Country Gazette needs … Continue reading It Ain’t Necessarily So
Watership Down
WATERSHIP DOWN - a cautionary tale by Chris Green ‘I’m round at Margot’s and her computer isn’t working, Adam,’ Suzy says. ‘We thought you might be able to help.’ ‘Ask her if she has hit the any key again,’ I say. ‘She says she doesn’t know which key the any key is,’ Suzy says. ‘Oh! … Continue reading Watership Down
Marzipan Imbroglio
Marzipan Imbroglio by Chris Green When I read the post on Facebook that striker, Gary Trevor has signed for Mars United FC for a record £300 million, my first reaction is, oh yeah, sure. I run it straight through the bullshit detector on my browser, expecting it to confirm it as a fake news story, … Continue reading Marzipan Imbroglio
Chris Green Stories 