Right On Dad Talks About Guns – a children’s story

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RIGHT ON DAD TALKS ABOUT GUNS – a children’s story by Chris Green

‘Why do people have guns, Dad? I think guns are horrible,’ says Amelia. Amelia is five and a half. She has just started her second year at school.

‘People haven’t always had guns, you know, Amelia. For hundreds of years when they fell out, they just threw things at one another or hit each other with sticks to settle their arguments. Many of them went to the gym several times a week to develop their stone throwing muscles or tried to find ways of sharpening their sticks. This all changed in 1506, when Mr Gun, a blacksmith from Accrington, Lancashire discovered you could use the power of explosives to fire a projectile through a metal tube.’

‘So it is called a gun because that was Mr Gun’s name?’

‘That’s right. At the time there were no PR firms in Accrington to guide Mr Gun through the process of marketing his new invention, so he called it simply a gun. Without realising it, he had hit upon a winner. The gun was to become the most successful commodity of all time. People saw the gun as an easy way to get rid of someone they did not like. People who had never considered harming another were seduced by its potential. Countries which had been at peace for hundreds of years suddenly came up with reasons to hate their neighbours. The neighbouring countries grew bigger turnips, or sang the wrong songs. They were smelly, or they saw a different man in the sky.’

‘Mr Gun was a bad man, wasn’t he, Dad?’ says Amelia.

‘He was, Amelia. But nothing compared to Mr War. In 1900, Mr War of Dundee, Scotland realised that these scuffles were very popular so he began to organise competitions. Dundee also did not have any marketing firms, so he called these competitions, wars. So successful was the idea that, a few years later in 1914, he managed to involve every country in the world in a big five-year long competition. He advertised it as The Great War. Although people seemed to like it at the time, afterwards they started to go off the idea of wars. So many people were killed they thought that they didn’t want to fight another one. They called it the war to end all wars.’

‘But it didn’t end all wars, did it, Dad? When you and mummy watch the news they are always talking about wars.’

‘The thing is that lots of people make money out of making guns and if they stopped having wars they wouldn’t be able to sell their guns. Then lots of people would not have jobs and their families would starve.’

‘I still don’t think that people should have guns.’

‘Then what would happen to all the people who didn’t have jobs and the starving families, Amelia?’

‘They could give them jobs making Moshi Monsters instead.’

© Chris Green 2015: All right reserved

 

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RIGHT ON DAD – a children’s story

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Right On Dad – a children’s story by Chris Green

‘What’s politics, Daddy?’ said Amelia. Amelia is four and a half and has just started school.

‘Aha! Yes what is politics? Well, Amelia. Every now and then we grown ups play a game to say which party we want to make the rules about what we can and can’t do.’

‘Party? You mean like a birthday party. I like birthday parties. You get cakes and fizzy drinks, and play pass the parcel,’ says Amelia.

‘No, not quite like birthday parties. The parties that we choose to make the rules are more like groups of busy looking people. They like to talk a lot, and shout, especially shout. There are two main parties. The Nice party and the Nasty party. The Nice party want to help people, let them have food and houses and make the world a better place and the Nasty party want to steal everyone’s money, cut down trees and hurt people. Sometimes they make bombs and kill people too.’

‘I think I like the Nice party, Daddy.’

‘So do I, Amelia.’

‘Do they sing songs about it, Daddy? I like songs. They taught me a new song at nursery today.’

‘Yes sometimes they sing songs. The Nice party’s song is ‘The Poor Need More’ The Nasty party’s song is ‘The Rich Are Best.’

‘I expect most people like the Nice Party, don’t they, Daddy.’

‘A lot of people like the Nice party, yes, Amelia. But the Nasty party usually win the game to make the rules.’

‘Why’s that Daddy?’

‘Well, the Nasty party are friends with the people who make the newspapers and the television programmes. They tell people they have to let them make the rules because they are better at making rules than the Nice party. They say that the Nice Party smell and will give you measles.’

‘I think the Nice party would make up much better rules. They’d let you have chocolate cake for dinner and go skipping.’

‘I didn’t say just now, but there is a third party called the Nice and Nasty party. They can’t decide whether they want to help people or want to hurt people.’

‘You mean sometimes they are like the Nice Party and sometimes they are like the Nasty party.’

‘Yes that’s right, Amelia. Last time they wanted to be more like the Nasty party and now they want to be more like the Nice party.’

‘Did the Nasty party win the last game, Daddy? Is that why there are all those pictures of dead people on the television?’

‘Yes, Amelia the Nasty party made up some new rules to help them win the game.

‘You mean the Nasty party are cheats.’

‘And, Amelia. They got their newspaper people to say that the Nice party’s man was from Mars and that he ate kittens for breakfast.’

‘Uh! I can see why they are called the Nasty party, Daddy. I wouldn’t want them to eat Chloe.’

© Chris Green 2015: All rights reserved